Frosted Cupcakes
by MissChocklitMilk
Summary: (warning: contains stupidity) A Humor Fanfic Challenge! Different than what I usually write. It's nearing 2012 and Luna Lovegood asks Ron and Ginny for help in a ritual asking Nargle deities to spare them from the end of the world. Includes bipolar Luna, and Harry in a burlap sack!


**A/N: I was insanely bored today and was chatting with Angela (ANGELA! I KNOW YOU CAN SEE THIS! HELLO!) and I forced her to give me a Humor Fanfic challenge. She came up with this: (This is very random.) (And so is this fic.) (This is the first ever challenge I've done, by the way.)**

**Tile: Frosted Cupcakes**

**Character/s: Ron Weasley**

**Prompts: crumpled paper, yellow bag, paperclips, and burger patties**

**Other: Someone has to say "I doubt the world will end in 2012."**

**This is the result. Keep reading!**

x

x

x

Ron Weasley whistled away as he entered the Great Hall. He was walking with his hands in his pockets and he was in a great mood. He looked up at the enchanted ceiling; the weather was perfect for rounds of Quidditch. All of a sudden, his sneaker landed on something mushy. Ron looked down with a grimace, _what was that?_

He crouched down to examine the odd, flat, circular, reddish object.

"That wasn't very nice," remarked Luna Lovegood with an air of melancholy. She walked towards Ron, and bended down to retrieve the thing he stepped on.

Ron spotted Ginny, who was with Luna. His sister was wearing a crown of intricately woven paper clips (so was Luna, but hers was white and Ginny's was red). "What's going on?" He mouthed, confused. What were they up to on a fine free Saturday?

"Luna's thawing frozen burger patties," Ginny shrugged.

The Ravenclaw girl stood back up after picking up the squishy raw burger patty and smiled. "It was all right, the patty wasn't deformed," she told Ginny, giving it to her. She turned to Ron. "You were lucky, you know. If you had stepped on it too hard you would have destroyed the patty, and the Nargle deities would punish you for seven years."

Ginny giggled, obviously amused with the girl's peculiarity. "And don't forget the wrackspurt."

"Well, they're not as bad as the almighty Nargle deities," Luna pointed out kindly.

"Er, right…" Ron said, a bit speechless.

"Would you like to help me with my ritual?" Luna asked, nodding at a large burlap sack on the floor surrounded by a ring of many half-frozen burger patties.

Ron's eyes widened. "Wh-who's in the sack?"

"Harry Potter," smiled Luna. "We had to knock him out though, but Madam Pomfrey lent me some chloroform, so that made it easier…"

"What the _bloody hell_ is _Harry_ doing unconscious in a burlap sack?"

"Luna's ritual," Ginny piped up.

"Ritual for _what_?"

Luna blinked, a tiny amount of surprise showing in her expression. "To save us from the end of the world, of course. We're asking the Nargle deities to spare us. I don't want the world to end yet, because lately The Quibbler's been really successful, and Daddy is happy."

"2012 is nearing," Ginny told her brother in a matter-of-fact manner.

"I doubt the world will end in 2012," Ron said, eyebrows furrowed.

"That's exactly what Harry said," Luna muttered, darkly, madly. A sick, twisted grin appeared on her face. _"Then we knocked him out."_

Ron shivered involuntarily. Ginny hummed and put the patty Ron stepped on back into the ring; the ceremonial area, not noticing this change in Luna.

The dark aura around Luna was gone as fast as it had come. "You'll help us, yes?" Luna asked brightly and picked up a large yellow bag from the floor. It smelled like meat and animal blood. She gave it to Ron. "Wear this, please."

Ron caught it. "Wear?" He echoed in confusion. He then noticed holes cut in the bag: two armholes, one on each side, and two leg holes at the bottom.

"Yes, since you're a male, rituals like these require proper costume. If you were a girl, you just need to wear these paperclip crowns soaked in a mixture of molasses and lard."

Ron started putting the bag on.

"No!" cried Luna, violently. She ripped the bag off Ron's body.

"W-what?" asked Ron shakily. This scary side of Luna was frightening him.

The eerie glint in Luna's eyes chilled him to the bone. "Do not wear the sacred costume wrong," she whispered.

"H-how c-can I wear it right?"

"Naked."

_"What?"_

Luna looked him in the eye for three seconds, and Ron broke down. "Okay, okay!"

"I'll make you underwear," Luna offered helpfully, back to her usual attitude. "Paper is the only material that cannot interfere with the magic waves sent off by this ritual. I'll make you paper underwear. Ginny, do you have paper?"

"Hmm," Ginny rummaged around her pockets. She produced some tiny pieces of crumpled paper.

"Those may do," Luna said, and her expert fingers started weaving and folding the paper. She finished in twelve seconds and it looked just like normal white underwear. "I won an origami competition once."

She handed it to Ron, and he just stared at it. It looked just like normal white underwear, except…well, except for the size. It would fit a Ken doll, not Ron.

"It's too small," Ron whined.

"You get what you get," Luna grabbed his collar and shook him violently. "Be satisfied! Put. It. On. And. Put. The. Bag. On."

Ron ran into a closet and went out wearing the bag.

"Very good, you're brother is very submissive," Luna told Ginny approvingly.

They started the ritual after the burger patties had completely thawed. Luna handed out rainbow colored incense that produced rainbow smoke. They started chanting, bowing, and circling the ring of patties Harry was in the middle of. Luna led the chants.

"Sacrifier, Harry Potter! I mbuluar me brymë cupcakes! Buzlu, gelat magdalenes! Bevroren, cupcakeszmrazené, cupcakespetits, gâteaux congelésgefrorene!" *

The trio chanted non-stop, seven hundred times.

After the seven hundredth chant, they were required to lie down on the floor. They watched the enchanted ceiling; the sky outside was now dark, bleak. Then, nimbus clouds swirled, lightning flashed, thunder clapped. Suddenly, the enchanted ceiling smashed open, glass shards barely missing Luna, Ginny, and Ron (some hit Harry and sliced open parts of the burlap sack. And probably some of Harry's skin too). A huge gaping hole appeared in the sky, like a tunnel to heaven through the clouds. The area of the hole had fair weather. A sound filled the great hall, like a choir of angels and harp music.

"Muestranos el camino!" yelled Luna. **

Then, cupcakes started falling from the sky hole.

Millions and millions of cupcakes.

Ron stared in awe, not moving a muscle. He didn't care if the cupcakes were painfully hitting him in the face, getting frosting all over him. For he was in heaven. And so was Ginny.

Luna, however, was not. She was dismayed.

"I…I did the wrong ritual..."

x

THE END

x

x

*"Sacrifier, Harry Potter! I mbuluar me brymë cupcakes! Buzlu, gelat magdalenes! Bevroren, cupcakeszmrazené, cupcakespetits, gâteaux congelésgefrorene!"

Sacrifier is 'sacrifice' in French (I think). And the rest of the chant is "frosted, frosted cupcakes" again and again, translated into different random languages.

**"Muestranos el camino!" yelled Luna. This is Spanish for "Show us the way."

x

x

x

**I'll go read your mind now.**

_**"What the hell did I just read?"**_


End file.
